Let’s look at the difference of tattling and reporting from Confessions of a Former Bully by Trudy Ludwig.
Tattling is when you are trying to get kids IN trouble when they are not hurting themselves and others. That is something you do not want to do. It will not help you make or keep friends. Reporting is when you are trying to help kids out of trouble because they are getting hurt. That’s something that you DO want to do. Bullying is abuse. Report bullying to a grownup you trust. If no one listens or takes your problem seriously, keep reporting until you find a grownup who does.
We need to teach our children the difference between Tattling and Reporting. Our children need our help. There is a lot of misinformation out there when it comes to bullying. In fact, our son was sent home with a popular anti bully book given out by some school counselors in their good intentions to help children with bullying. Well the advice, while I am sure the author had the best of intentions, is definitely in need of revision.
The author states in the book that if a child is being bullied the child needs to work this out on his own. The author goes on to instruct the child only to go to an adult if a crime has been committed.
The most destructive hurt that bullying creates is the emotional hurt it creates in the child that is targeted. That hurt can last a lifetime. The emotional hurt can create way more devastation than many of us are willing to admit. Our children need help and guidance in sorting through their emotions. Too many of our children feel like no one cares when it comes to bullying.
Do we really want our children working out the emotional abuse by themselves without any support or guidance from their elders? I take a stand right here and right now in saying that our children need our help when it comes to bullying. We do not want them to stuff their feelings. They need healthy places and ways to express themselves and feel supported. If you would like to find out how our family supported each other check out our call series…”Loving Balm for our Hurting Hearts.”
It is time that we take the time to start connecting with our kids and laying a firm foundation of a safe, loving, and connected home for all of us. If you would like to learn how our family creates meaningful connections which are fun and easy in just 5 minutes a day please help yourself to my Gift to you: a Free Chapter of my New Book Is Your Child Really Fine? How to Know and How to Help.
Blessings and Peace to you and your family,